In preparation for having to sleep in the same room with my youngest tonight, I’ve had maybe two hours of sleep since yesterday morning at… umm… 8. Yeah. So, apologies if this gets all rambling and weird, because I’m just not functioning all that well at this point.

And yay for the upcoming driving in the city, too. Blech.

Anyway, last week was turn offs, this week is – three turn ons. Again, rather than heading down the obvious path, I’ll follow several.

3) Biggest turn on in slush-reading: What gets me going when I’m reading from a slush pile? Properly formatted and politely submitted materials, with a first page that captures my attention. I can work with soft endings and wandering middles, but if you don’t grab my attention in that first 250 or so words, you’re done for. I may read the whole thing, but you’ve got to give it that initial punch.

Just for the record, if you paste your entire bibliography into your cover letter, I’ll reach through your monitor and beat you with the guidelines. Seriously – there is no damn need for a full page of detailed bibliography in a cover letter, except the writer’s own need for an ego-stroke.

2) Biggest turn on for food: The smell. If food smells awesome enough, presentation won’t matter. Obviously it’ll still have to taste good and I’ll still need to know what it is or what’s in it, but if the smell makes my mouth water, you’ve pretty much got me.

That even goes for things as mundane as hamburger helper. Someone once made me a hamburger helper dinner, adding his own flair to it, that was like nothing I’d ever had before. I’ve tried following his instructions since, and it just hasn’t been the same… but I can still smell that rich, smooth sauce. I’m telling you – HH Lasagne can be made to taste like a five-star meal!

1) Biggest turn on… yeah, you know it: There are a lot, obviously. Don’t we all have more than one? Yeah, I should hope so.

For me, it starts, middles and ends with pheromones. If someone has a certain scent at a certain spot on their neck, I melt, literally. I can’t explain the scent exactly, or at all, really – but I get all weak-kneed and smiley and yeah, even giggly when I smell it. I’m one of those people that enjoy the act as much as the end result… someone once said I feel the whole picture, not a pixel. Anyway, If I can bury my nose into a neck that smells just right, there are pixels exploding everywhere.

So…yeah. That’s it for this week. See you on the other side of the sleep clinic thing!