Waiting for the axe to fall… first it was Milo, then the last job dried up, and now…

…it turns out that once again, an ‘error’ was made at the school, and now in order for Carrie to get her grad jacket, we’ll need to pay twice.

Rant behind the cut, so if you don’t want to read… I suggest looking at Ricia Sorum’s gorgeous artwork!

Of course, the school is backing the student that made the error, who claims she was never told that certain students wanted the men’s version of the jacket. Those four students do remember telling her, and back each other up. They were all there. The school being the school, though, they’re backing the student who is involved in everything, curricular and otherwise.

Those four students? Carrie, and her circle of friends, who are most certainly not all up in the school spirit. I’m not saying this student did it on purpose, or that it was anything less than an honest mistake; I am saying that if the girls were more school-oriented, they’d no doubt be given a break. And after last year’s mess with the crap-ass jackets Rhiannon’s class got (seriously – $90 for what amounts to windbreakers and hot-iron stamps), and on top of finding out that the school is not paying for anything for grad this year… I’m just thoroughly frustrated and ready to call bullshit.

Last year, the student council took all the funds and bought a brand new leather couch and a popcorn machine for the student lounge. This year, the student council has NOTHING. Where was the supervision of a bloody teacher or someone from the administration? Who the hell knows. Where was the supervision with the jackets then and now? Again – who the hell knows. Everyone over there is passing the buck so far, although I’m still waiting to hear from the grad coordinator teacher and the principal.

What it comes down to is this – Carrie’s grad jacket alone is going to cost a fifth of our monthly budget. Grad itself is going to push $400, if not more (estimating, because I was told the school paid half the amount last year, and I know Jasen and I paid $100 each). If I -or we- end up paying the full cost, the meals better be worth $13.50 this time, and not just be two tablespoons of half-cooked, paper thin scalloped potatoes, one broccoli floret and one cauliflower floret, and one generic brand stuffed chicken breast that I know cost $1 each from the local store.

As of the middle of October, I’m completely unemployed, except for Belfire. I don’t take any money from the company right now, because I have yet to receive the approval from the US government for tax exemption, and every sale has 30% taken off the top. Why should I punish the authors and staff for something that hasn’t come through yet?

I’m frustrated, I’m stressed out, and I’m angry with everyone, and everything. I’ll be honest – it’s only going to get worse, and it’s going to mean I’m going to have to tighten belts elsewhere as well just to keep things floating until and if this bloody financial crisis is over.

And I know some of you are going to be saying “Why get the jacket for her then?” and you’re probably the same people that said “Why pay for the cat’s surgery when you could have put him down for a fraction of the cost?”

To answer the first – because Carrie has struggled all the way through school. She has worked hard to try and overcome her dyslexia when the school refuses to acknowledge it, she has worked hard to overcome her physical issues when the school does its best to tear her down for them. She is still in school. She intends to graduate.

That’s better than I did. I refuse to allow our financial situation dig at her until there is nothing left, and she quits. Like I did. I won’t tell her “I can’t afford college, so you may as well give up,” like I was told. I won’t tell her to forget applying for bursaries and scholarships because she can barely make it through high school, let alone college (yes, like I was told). Instead of saying “why didn’t you do better?” when she does a fantastic job with grades etc., I say – congratulations. And instead of telling people she does nothing but sit around and stare at the walls, I actually do tell people how much she does around here, for me and for Rhiannon – I think she deserves a freaking medal, let alone a jacket. And if this is the only gift I can give her for her birthday, Yule and grad, well… it’s all I’ve got.

Besides, this is Canada, and it’s coming up on winter. A jacket is kinda necessary.

The second – I’ve already defended myself on that position, but to make it doubly clear – I wasn’t fully aware until Sunday that there wouldn’t be any more jobs from my last employer, so I thought we could skate by, etc. Not that I wouldn’t have made the same decision, because I am a crazy cat lady and Milo is in fact my baby. He chose me over his mother at 3 weeks old, so.. yeah. I’m even getting over the whole socket issue. (that’s another story, for another day…)

/… end rant. I’ll try to be more or less happy next post. LOL