I’ve been in love three times in my life. Real, meaningful love, that is. First doesn’t count, that’s just crazy hormone crazy nutbar crazy insanity. Crazy.

I never had a chance to say goodbye to the first real love of my life. I think I’ve written of Norm before, but even so…today feels like a day to remember old loves and old happiness.

Norm and I were years apart, enough he thought it was too many for a while, and we had an oddball friendship, we were never really a couple. The timing was never right. I loved him like crazy from the time I was fifteen (through three of his girlfriends) right until I was almost eighteen. By that time, when he realized he loved me too, I was head over heals with my now-ex-husband, and we’d just started our relationship. Years pass, and my ex and I were separated, and though Norm and I reconnected and had a few near-dates (enough to remind me how much I loved the guy) my ex decided to show up again, and… there were kids and feelings and Norm understood, so the ex and I tried again.

Years passed, and we lost touch. One night, I was waiting in our vehicle outside Timmie’s (how very Canadian, right?), when someone got in behind me and sat there. Thing is, I didn’t see him.

Carrie did.

It never, not once, occurred to me that the spirit behind me could be anyone I knew – for a while anyway. And then I had it in my head it was someone I went to school with that had gone missing, perhaps he’d died (he didn’t, he’s since been found). That wouldn’t make sense except it wouldn’t be the first time a spirit had come to us for whatever reason. This spirit rode around with us, came in the house, stood around, sat around – hung out. Eventually he just became another one of the family that hang around us.

Then one night I felt a hand on my shoulder, and something made me think of Norm, strong enough that my heart flipped. I figured hell, everyone’s on Facebook, right? Nope, not Norm. But that search yielded a result from Bing or Google, or whatever.

Norm’s obituary. I doubt his family had any way to contact us, since I’ve moved three times since the last time we saw him, and my mom’s number has changed since then as well… it was just such a shock. I’ve showed Carrie pictures of Norm from back when my heart was tucked in the chest pocket of his old jean jacket… the spirit was him.

I never got to say this to him before he died. I hope he found the happiness he was looking for, the love he deserved. No one could ever have wished for a better guy to be friends with. To be slightly more than friends with.

There is another, someone from not so long ago, who I never really said goodbye to. I hope he finds his happiness as well…