So, for all you writer folks out there – you want to win friends and influence editors?

Don’t break every guideline for Apex (or whatever pub I’m slushing and rejecting for), then tell me when, in my rejection letter, I respectfully (yes, I Jodi Lee of Apex Publications used the word respectfully in a rejection) ask that you read the guidelines. Oh, and with at least three grammar and spelling errors in the responses. Plural. Responses.

For the record – I don’t commend or compliment anyone without their deserving it. I don’t kiss ass unless it’s damn cute and watch it, because I do bite, and I tend to draw blood. No, I have not had my shots. You want to argue a rejection? Fine… but I have a blacklist and buddy – yer on it.

PS – Damn it. Now I want to ask Jason permission to post and pick at the responses to the rejection. Tee hee.

---

Ok, Jason posted the first response to the Apex-Jason blog – http://apexdigest.livejournal.com/99732.html

And I feel ok about the second, since it seems to have also involved Myspace…I’m actually a couple of friends down this morning… awww…

From: XXXXXX
Date: Sat, Apr 5, 2008 at 9:54 PM
Subject: Re: Apex Submission – XXXXXX & XXXXXX
To: Jodi Lee

I have been published all over this world I don’t need you attitude so I deleted your ass and have a good trip.

On Wed, Apr 2, 2008 at 3:29 PM, Jodi Lee wrote:

Greetings XXXXXX,

Thank you for your submissions to Apex Digest. I respectfully ask that you read the guidelines before submitting to Apex again. We do not accept poetry, poetic prose or submissions made in the body of the email.

We wish you the best of luck in your future writing endeavors. Please don’t hesitate to submit to Apex in the future.
Sincerely,
–
Jodi Lee
Submissions/Copy Editor – Apex Publications

Get the lead out – get subbed! – http://www.apexbookcompany.com

~If you have received an impersonal rejection, please do not take offense.
Time generally does not permit me to critique, suggest a secondary market,
nor offer any further feedback. All rejections are final, but you always have
the opportunity to submit another story.~

---

Now here’s the thing. Apex doesn’t do poetry, except the hawt-n-lurvely Brandy Schwan because, face it – she’s got the dark-fu talent that makes everyone go ga-ga. Second, we don’t do poetic prose. Third, we don’t accept submissions in the body of the email (never have and although I’ve bent to that previously if the fiction showed merit I don’t anymore). FINALLY – we don’t accept multiple submissions. Simultaneous is different than multiple, people, you need to understand that.

In conclusion – Mr. XXXXXX – you’ve broken *five* cardinal guidelines and rules and thus… BLACKLISTED! Oh and have I mentioned I am also the editor in chief of LBF Books? Yeah… I don’t think any of us will be looking at your work, anytime soon. Sir, at your age you should know better.

PS – how much does Lulu charge to print poetry chaps, anyway?

And we now return you to your regularly scheduled playtime….