I know I’ve said that before, maybe not here, but I have said it. I’m behind in my slush reading, and I’m fighting insomnia so I figured, tonight would be a good night to wade in the slush. Now, my eyes are bleeding. The right one (legally blind in it, btw which freaks the hell outta some people) is so bloodshot it looks like I’ve been on a month long bender. The left one is red along the bottom lid. This could have something to do with the files, or it could just be that my brain has indeed finally melted, and is running out of my eyes instead of my ears.

Imploded, perhaps.

Every editor and agent out there has a “how not to submit here” list. I used to have one, but I can’t seem to find it, which means during one of the many updates on the old 3Sides site, I must have deleted it and not re-done the page. I’m thinking of writing a new one, but I can’t decide if it would be worth it. You can’t spit for hitting one online, and still there are those that submit these…messes.

So, here’s your chance. Do you really want to know what makes me hit the big red REJECTION button on my desk? Do you want to know what swirls in then down the toilet after I slap the flusher? Will you save the eyes and sanity of a world full of editors?

Yes, I know. You’d rather light the torches and grab the pitchforks.