While I wait for my face to stop hurting, I’m going to quickly run through about a dozen things I’d do if I were to win LottoMax. I’ve won free plays and once actually won some cash. As a family, we decide whether or not we’ll grab a ‘quick play’ ticket maybe once every six weeks or so.

If I were to win the full amount, I dunno what I’d do exactly. I know I’d do the things on the list below, and then I’d probably put the rest into savings bonds (insured!) that cash out and roll over every six months or yearly or whatever. Or something. But here’s the main stuff we’d do:

1) Buy a house. More to the point, I’d buy a large chunk of a certain block in Miami, and either sell off or ‘doze the existing houses, and have the likeness of my grandparent’s old house built just off the center of the three lots, towards the north side. Between it and my friend Lorna’s, I’d have a smallish building put up – kind of like a very large gazebo. And that’s where Glas Celli would be.

2) Certain governmental things would need to be taken care of, probably coming out around 200k. To round it out, I’d drop 300k to upgrade the local school in various ways, including a proper playground for the little kids.

3) Glas Celli members would all receive a set amount, and Glas Celli itself would have a piece as well (for candles and those matching robes with the pink flamingo hats Lorna talks about…lol).

4) My brothers and nieces would get a set amount, regulated in trusts.

5) My mother would receive a house in town, and a set amount.

6) The girls and I would go to the dentist and have complete work-ups done. Our coverage only allows for a very small amount per year – basically one visit with cleaning, maybe one filling or pulling if necessary. Needless to say, things aren’t all that great, particularly since our last dentist actually changed his tune when he found out we had the minimum coverage. Suddenly, things that had been cavities were just specks, and my broken filling was fine, my wisdom teeth were not floating…etc. Things didn’t get done, and bad goes to worse.

Personally, if I could turn back time and go back to when I agreed to leave my wisdom teeth in (partly because they were in much better shape than the molars pulled to make room for them, partly because it would have cost $2k outside our coverage) I would find a way to raise the money and have them removed. My teeth have shifted, some literally cracking as they do so. It kinda hurts a little.

7) The girls and I would take a very long vacation in western Europe.

8) I’d put $1m, maybe more, into Belfire. Seriously. And then another, via Belfire, in my Gran’s name, to Alzheimer’s research at U of M.

9) The girls could go to whatever college, whatever field of study they wanted. Obviously they wouldn’t have to worry about ‘back-up’ plans, so if Rhia wants to be an actress, she can go try. If Care wants to be a forensic anthropologist, she can do it. They’d also be given houses and cars, so long as they completed college.

10) I’d give the museum $1m, so they could start really developing their new building and programs.

Yeah… big dreams.