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Scribbles – Seriously, Enough.

13 March 2015 2 Comments

So many people had such a horrible year last year; some even had it carried over from 2013. For us, we had the two seriously stressful points last year, a handful the year before. Neither as bad (perhaps in hindsight?) as they could have been. I mean, geez, I write some pretty dark fiction sometimes, so I can come up with crazy, dark scenarios.

I’d hoped things were letting up in our lives, I really did. In January everything looked rosy and golden, but quickly went south with various things. February mostly outright sucked, though perhaps it’s just the last week that colors it all.

March – only two weeks in, mind – hasn’t shown any let up. Yesterday, the girls and I had to have two of our fur-family members put down. It took weeks to come to a definitive decision about both, but now that it’s done… In my heart, I know we did the right thing. Both Abraham DeLacey Giuseppe Casey Thomas O’Malley (our first cat post-divorce, recognize the name?) and Sugar (Carrie’s Cocker Spaniel) had something going on besides what was evident. Both had lost a considerable amount of weight, and they’d both exhibited some strange behavior in the last months.

When the tech weighed Malley, he was only just over nine pounds. That falls into the normal range, and yet he felt skeletal, no extra muscle or body fat at all. At almost eleven years old, he looked and felt like a much older cat. I know there is truth in the saying that outdoor cats have shorter lives, but he was mostly an indoor cat since he was mauled by a dog for the last time shortly before we moved to this house. The arthritis that settled into his legs after the last mauling just did him in, over time, I guess. We’re going to miss him so much.

Sugar had aged quite a bit over the last year. Her ginger spots and ears were no longer so gingery, and in fact most of her ears were white after her last shaving. Frighteningly, she’d lost far more weight than we’d even noticed – she was just 20 pounds (at one point about three years ago, she was quite a hefty 40 pounds!). Her appetite and the food had remained as it always was, but something just wasn’t right.

And then her mind started going, and this eventually culminated in messes in her bed, her dishes, Carrie’s bed; not just revenge mess that comes with high strung weird little dogs, but actual mess. And then a personality change that we couldn’t deal with – she’d started snapping and actually bit. The old girl just wasn’t Sugar anymore, most of the time. Was it her hips? Was it her always-present nervous twitchery, the high-strung neurotic spaniel brain?

I dunno. All I know is she knew it was coming in the end, and seemed to apologize and say goodbye. She’d been such a sweetheart when we first got her, and for that last moment, she was again.

It doesn’t really feel real yet. But I wish the year of disappointment and death would just stop. Enough, already.

RIP Malley & Sugar…

<\3 JL (PS – hopefully back to normal again next week…)